Current Shamrock Missive

From the Publisher's Desk
May 2015

"They: The makers of the Constitution: conferred, as against the government, the right to be let alone -- the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men.'
- Justice Louis D. Brandei

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs, An Offshore Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, in a kingdom not so far away and not so very long ago there was a mother pig who had three little pigs. One day she said to her three little pigs, "It is time you each made your own way in the world." To each one she gave a small cask filled with valuables which was their inheritance. Mother pig admonished them, " Be very careful. The world is a dangerous place and so that will make your task of protecting you inheritance difficult. There are many in this kingdom who believe that they have a right to take what is yours." Their mother advised them to find good strong material to build homes (structures) because the big, bad wolf would one day show up and try to steal their inheritance and eat them all up in the process. Their mother reminded them, "Do everything in your power to always protect yourself and your assets!" The three little pigs all told their mother they would follow her sound advice. Each little pig then picked up his cask and put it under his arm, kissed his mother good bye and went out into the big world to seek his fortune.

The first little pig was of a lazy disposition. The first man he encountered on the road was carrying bundles of straw. The little pig thought to himself, "That straw will make an adequate structure to protect both myself and all my worldly goods." The little pig said to the man, "Good man, sell me that straw to build me a house." The man gladly sold the straw, and the little pig built his house with it. That night, the first little pig settled into his new straw house. Early the next morning, he heard a noise outside. "Who is out there!" he cried. He looked outside his window and saw a big, bad wolf. "Little pig, little pig, let me come in," said the wolf in a very intimidating voice. "Why should I?" replied the little pig. The wolf answered, "Because I am a duly appointed official for His Majesty the King. Our records show you owe inheritancetaxes to the kingdom." The little pig not wishing to see his small inheritance made even smaller by the King's onerous tax rates said, "No way! Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!" The wolf growled in reply, "Because you have failed to see reason and comply with the King's just laws, you therefore forfeit all your inheritance to the King." And he blew and he blew and the first little pig's straw house came tumbling down around his ears. The wolf rushed in and grabbed the little pig's cask of valuables and then ate the first little pig up. This was due to the fact that the wolf was permitted, under the kingdom's forfeiture laws to take any pork products on the premises for his personal use. This was an employee incentive used by the kingdom's taxing authority.

The second little pig left was not as lazy as his brother and his thinking tended to be more long-term in nature. He passed many men on the road carrying straw but he wished to build his home of more durable material. Finally he met a man on the road selling sticks and he decided to make his home from this material. Using a small portion of his funds, he purchased enough sticks for a comfortable structure and set to building it. This little pig then rested, his mind fully at ease with the fruits of his labor. Early the next morning, he heard a noise outside. "Who is out there!" he cried. He looked outside his window and saw a big, bad wolf. "Little pig, little pig, let me come in," said the wolf in a very intimidating voice. "Why should I?" replied the little pig. The wolf answered, "Because I am a duly appointed official for His Majesty the King. Our records show you owe inheritance taxes to the kingdom. Furthermore, your home is in violation of sixteen articles of His Majesty's building code. I must not only collect the inheritance taxes owed but also fine you for an illegally built structure and then tear down your home." The little pig not wishing to lose every thing he owned due to the many numerous and complex ordinances decreed by the King said, "No way! Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin!" The wolf answered back, "Your resistance is futile and you will pay even
more dearly as an example to others who would be brazen enough to try such illegal actions in the future. Now I must huff and I must puff and I must blow your house in," laughed the wolf! And he blew and he blew and the second little pig's stick house came tumbling down around his ears. The wolf rushed in and grabbed the little pig's cask of valuables and then ate the little pig up as was his legal prerogative.

The third little pig was very careful and methodical and so he listened to what his mother had said. As he walked down the read with his cask of valuables under his arm he carefully inspected all building materials he encountered. He decided that the decision he had to make was so important that he would be unwise to make it in haste. He encountered a man who had with him a load of high quality bricks. The little pig said to the man, "Good man, please sell me those bricks to build a house with." The man sold him the bricks, and he built his house with them. The little pig realized the bricks were more expensive than either the straw or sticks he had seen for sale but he knew that the bricks would build a more sturdy, lasting structure. He worked very diligently to build his home and after he was finished he look with satisfaction upon his lovely, strong, safe house of bricks. Again the wolf came, and made a great deal of noise upon his arrival. The little pig approached the window and discovered the big, bad wolf looking at him, just as had happened to his two brothers. "Little pig, little pig, let me come in," said the wolf in the very same, confident voice he had used in the past. "Why should I?" replied the little pig. The wolf answered, "Because I am a duly appointed official for His Majesty the King. We have found out that you owe inheritance taxes to the kingdom. Furthermore, your have built your home on a free-range chicken preserve in violation of His Majesty's Delicious Species Protection Act. I must not only collect the inheritance taxes owed but also fine you for an illegally built structure and then tear down your home." "No, no, by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin," replied the little pig. "Then I'm going to huff, and I'm going to puff, and I'm going to blow your house in." So he huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and he puffed, and he puffed and huffed; but he could blow the house in.

Finding that he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow the house down, the Wolf decided to change his tactics. After all, he was being denied what he considered to be his right to a nice pork dinner. The wolf said, "Little pig, I know where there is a lovely field of turnips." "Where might that be?" asked the pig suspiciously? "Why right down the road here and if you will come out I will gladly show you the way and assist you in harvesting some," replied the Wolf slyly. The little pig realized the wolf could no more change his nature than he, the little pig could fly. "No thank you," answered the little pig, "Little pigs who have gone to great lengths to protect their homes and valuables are not easily fooled by sweet propaganda from official sources," added the little pig. The wolf felt very angry at this unanticipated turn of events but nevertheless believed that he was a match for the little pig. He looked around and saw a large brick chimney on the top of the house so he climbed up on the roof and down the chimney! Little did the wolf realize that the little pig had planned for this contingency and had placed a giant kettle of boiling water in the fireplace. As the wolf come down the chimney, the clever little pig took off the lid, and in fell the wolf. The little pig quickly replaced the cover and saw his problems with the wolf go up in smoke, as it were!

MORAL OF THIS TALE: Clever little pigs will go to the necessary lengths to protect their homes and assets because they know that the big, bad wolf will eventually show up and if they are defenseless, they will end up as supper.

See you next issue

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PS - Be sure to check out our latest report "How To Legally Move Large Amounts of Assets Abroad [without any filing requirements"].

"The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion."
- Edmund Burke, 1784

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